Sunday, April 29, 2012

Evil Bong II: King Bong (2009)

Director: Charles Band

Starring: John Patrick Jordan, Amy Paffrath, Sonny Carl Davis
Run Time: 1:20

Review: I love Full Moon Features. Usually what director/producer Charles Band is involved in has some worth, even if it's only a little. He directed and helped come up with the story for this one.

Let's be honest here... this movie was made for shits and giggles. It's a straight up comedy/horror and those are usually lots of fun with lame humor, tons of nudity and hopefully a lot of gore. I haven't seen the first Evil Bong in a long time so it'll be easy to review this as a stand alone movie, and not compare it to the first.

There's plenty of cliche' stoner dialogue that isn't really my thing and it gets annoying sometimes. The actor who plays Larnell is actually really entertaining. He has a great way of delivering his lines, but he's basically just playing Randal from Clerks. So, I guess the aftereffects of smoking from the Evil Bong in the first movie leaves 3 of our 4 stars with permanent side effects of smoking pot. One of them constantly sleeps, another constantly eats and the third guy is always horny and rubbing his cock on inanimate objects.

So I'm watching the movie and enjoying it, hoping something happens. I'm watching and watching and I realize I'm and hour in and nothing's happened. They just smoke pot in their apartment, then smoke pot in the jungle, then go inside the King Bong and the movie's over before you know it. I can't really call it an awful horror movie because it's not really a horror movie. They just gave up on the horror part and focused on the comedy. Very disappointing.

The effects are good. They're not done in a realistic style but that's fine. There's no gore at all, but the Evil Bong and the King Bong look good, I guess. I'm not gonna lie. This movie would probably be way better while under the influence of some gimmick. Unfortunately, I was sober but could still pull through. It's one of those movies you know is bad, but you give it the benefit of the doubt because you know it wasn't done by talentless invalids like some of these other shithole movies. Overall, this is a below average awful horror movie.

Terrible Lines: "Sorry dude, my choad's on fire."

              Horror Film: 5
              Entertainment: 7.5
              Suspense: 1

              Overall: 4.6

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