Sunday, May 20, 2012

Hillside Cannibals (2006)

"Starring":  Heather Conforto, Tom Nagel, Louis Graham

Homicidal Maniac: Cannibalistic Family

Run Time: 1:22:53
Quick Synopsis: Five teens go camping in the woods.  They soon find out that there is a crazy, inbred family.

Review:  Boy did the filmmakers of this movie have some balls.  Not only do they make an awful rip-off of the The Hills Have Eyes, they actually state that this is the true story that The Hills Have Eyes is based off of.  Really, this is a true story; if so, my whole outlook on the world has just changed.  Apparently, somewhere in the United States, there are people who live in the woods, that are cannibals, that communicate through grunts, know a little English, allow a small town sheriff to hang out with them, and appear to be a combination of cavemen and Native Americans.  That's sounds like it could happen.  This movie is as B as it gets.  At one point during the end of the movie, you can actually hear a random person talking in the background.  The acting overall is bad, but not bad enough to bring the viewers any enjoyment.  Honestly, the only entertainment I got from the movie was a game a made-up called: "Hills or Chainsaw".  Every scene I tried to figure out which movie they stole the idea from.  Some highlights of the game, using another person's skin as a face: Chainsaw, living in the hills of a desert: Hills, awful grunts sprinkled in with some English: no decent movie that has ever been made.  I guess if you are a fan of gore, there are some good kill scenes that may make the movie watchable, but all in all, this is a really awful horror movie.

Fun Fact:  Thomas Downey, who plays Mr. Pratt, appears to a master of finding roles in shitty movies that attempt to make money off of recent trends in the movies.  He was in a Dracula movie during the vampire craze, a Pirates movie during the success of the Pirates of the Caribbean and a werewolf movie during the recent werewolf phase.

Hidden Gem:  Director Leigh Scott plays the role of both David and Sawney Bean in the movie.

Total Kill Count: 9
Mark- Justin Jones (11:20) Hatchet to Head Gore Rating: 6
Amber- Ella Holden (11:35) Throat Slit Gore Rating: 5
Tonya- Katayoun Dara (11:50) Cut in Half with Machete Gore Rating: 7
Cannibal- Uncredited(14:02) Hatchet to Neck Gore Rating: 5
Heather- Vanessa Rook (59:18) Decapitated Gore Rating: 5
Mrs. Pratt- Amanda Barton (59:01) Stabbed in Throat Gore Rating: 6
Ted- Chriss Anglin (1:02:20) Hatchet to Head Gore Rating: 6
Bill- Tom Nagel (1:05:59) Cut in Half/Offscreen Gore Rating: 5
Linda- Heather Conforto (1:16:26) Face Cut Off/Offscreen Gore Rating: 5

             Horror Film: 3
             Entertainment: 5
             Gore: 7
             Overall: 4.5

Movie Link: