Thursday, May 17, 2012

Street Trash (1987)

Director: Jim Muro

Starring: Mike Lackey, Bill Chepil, Vic Noto

Runtime: 1:31

Rant: This is one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while. It's so offensive I can't help but love it. It's a comedy/horror and it's really worth watching.

So this liquor store owner named Ed finds a case of this shit called "Viper" in his basement. I don't know if it's supposed to be booze or what but if you drink it it makes you melt. He starts selling it to these hobos and they start melting and a tough guy cop has to get to the bottom of it. It's not even really about the Viper stuff though, it's more about the characters getting into shenanigans.

This movie's filled with great characters. There's an old black guy named Burt who always wears a gas mask for some reason. He goes into a grocery store and starts stealing everything. An old woman sees him stealing stuff and looks up at him wide-eyed. He looks back and says "Well whatchu starrin' at, bitch?" It was fucking great. She says she's going to tell the manager and he says "Yeah, you do that... old wrinkly honkey motherfucker."

There's this fucking guy named Bronson. He's a Vietnam veteran who leads a pack of hobos that live in a junkyard. This guy is a horrible human being and really makes me laugh. He's just a viscous lunatic that does what he wants. He cuts a guy's dick off and throws it to the hobos. They start throwing the severed penis around like it's a fucking baseball. It's insane.

There's a ton of shit going on in this movie. Too much to mention. There's a whole mafia thing, a bunch of hookers, a woman that's in love with an underage hobo, a fat guy who has sex with a dead woman and catches syphilis, the worst fight scene of all time between a mob boss and a cop. There's a couple deaths early on, but it doesn't really get into the gore until the last 20 minutes of the movie.

What a surprise. Didn't expect this movie to be so great. It's cheesy, the acting is terrible, the effects are over the top and cartoony, but all together this is a very enjoyable awful horror movie.

Terrible Lines:
"I used to make women like you parade around the village bare-pussy!"

"How about 68? You blow me and I owe you one."

Horror Film: 6
Entertainment: 9
Gore: 8.5
Overall Rating: 7.3