Sunday, May 27, 2012

Trailer Park of Terror (2008)

Director: Steven Goldmann

Starring: Nichole Hilz, Lew Temple, Jeanette Brox

Run Time: 1:31

Rant: This movie is more about the story and the characters than the zombies and gore. Problem is, the story and the characters are awful.

Almost 50 minutes in. No zombies. This shithole takes forever. She lives in a trailer park. The people there are abusive and they kill her boyfriend. She ends up making a deal with the devil and he gives her a gun. What kind of bullshit is that? So she kills everyone and herself and now she and the other trailer park idiots come back as zombies to terrorize this priest and these troubled kids he's taking on a trip. What the fuck kind of shit idea is that?

There is only one likable character in the movie and just like in "See No Evil" he dies early. I hoped that they all got fucking killed slowly. It's just boring unlikableness throughout the whole thing. Each zombie has some kind of gimmick. There's a Asian massage zombie, a giant fat woman zombie, a guitar playing zombie, a butcher zombie. There's some neat ideas in there but nothing special.

There's a good scene where a girl takes some drugs and thinks she's tripping so she's laughing while watching a stupid zombie play a guitar and saw her arm off. That was the best part of the movie. Also some zombies make these two dummies make a porno. I guess it has that going for it.

It's mostly just boring as fuck for the first hour, but it picks up and isn't that bad. The acting isn't that terrible (compared to some of this shit) so you can't even laugh at how over the top itis. The gore is decent, but nothing amazing. This is just a mediocre awful horror movie.

Fun Facts: This was based on a comic book series published by Imperium Comics.

Hidden Gems: Trace Adkins plays the devil in this movie.

Kill Count:
Pastor Lewis (50:29) Head ripped off.
Jason (59:02) Ribcage crushed, then I think his penis is pulled off.
Tiffany (1:11:35) Eaten by fat lady.
Amber (1:18:18) Stomach pumped. Gore Rating: 5
Alex (1:25:04) Skinned alive, then boiled. Gore Rating: 8
Michael (1:26:42) Ran over by car. Gore Rating: 0

Horror Film: 5
Entertainment: 6
Gore: 7.5
Overall Rating: 5.8