Monday, August 6, 2012

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)



"Starring": Bill Oberst Jr., Jason Vail, Baby Norman

Monsters: Zombies

Run Time: 1:36:04
Quick Synopsis: Soon after the battle of Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln learns of a failed mission that would have led to the end of the Civil War.  When he decides to take a group of secret agents to complete the mission, he learns that an evil epidemic from his past may have returned.

Review: Everything you know about Abraham Lincoln is a LIE.  His mother didn't die of milk sickness and his father did not live to the age of 73.  It is all a damn conspiracy; his mother had become a zombie and his father killed himself because he couldn't live with this fact. All this would lead to making of one of the worst zombie movies I have ever seen.  Did you know that Lincoln's first true love was a whore named Mary Owens? Or that Mary Owens would take in a young orphan boy named Teddy Roosevelt? Or that they would be reunited near a Confederate fort infested with