Saturday, October 27, 2012

Ichi the Killer (2001)

Director; Takashi Miike

Starring: Tadanobu Asano, Nao Ohmori, Shin'ya Tsukamoto

Run Time: 2:06

Rant: I've never seen a more immoral movie in my life and it's fucking glorious. On one hand we have Kikihara: A viscous yakuza badass who enjoys pain. One the other hand we have Ichi: an even more viscous man-child who's really good at killing, but cries all the time and gets random boners. Kikihara gets to the point where he's looking forward to meeting Ichi because of how hardcore he is at killing. He doesn't want Ichi to let him down.

The opening scene: someone's masterbating while watching a rape and spills a load into a plant. The load runs off the plant and hits the ground. The fucking load morphs into the title of the movie. What a way to set the tone. I don't know wether Takashi Miike should be put in prison or given an award.

I've been sitting here trying to think of a movie that doesn't have a good guy, and I'm having a hard time. It's tough to watch a movie when you don't have someone to root for but I really want to know what happens next. It could be anything.

I hate when shock value stuff is overdone and there's alot of that in here but it's really interesting. It's why I didn't shut the fucker off. At least there's stuff in here I've never seen before. Some people like sick shit for the sake of sick shit, but every time I watch something like this my boring cunt of a life seems much better. Fuck, at least that isn't me hanging from the ceiling on hooks, having hot oil poured on my back. This movie is a must see for gore fans and fans of disturbing movies in general. This is an amazing achievement in the world of awful horror movies. It has the most demented ending for the most demented movie ever. I'm gonna go take a shower and try to think about something else.

Fun Fact: Tadanobu Asano, who plays Kikihara in the film, played Hogun in Marvel's Thor.

Terrible Lines: "You can suck dicks! You have a cunt! Why aren't you making me any money?!"
 I think we've all been there.

Horror film: 8
Entertainment: 9
Gore: 8
Overall rating: 8.2