Thursday, November 15, 2012

Plasterhead (2006)

"Starring": Kathryn Merry, Josh Macuga, and Ernest Dancy

Homicidal Maniac: Brian Dixon (as Plasterhead)

Run Time: 1:33:27
Quick Synopsis: Four friends on a trip to Miami make an unexpected stop in West Virginia after finding a bag with several hundred dollars.  While looking for the owner, they stop in the town of Rolling Glen and find out that the place has a deadly secret.

Review: It was time to go back to our bread and butter: shitty low budget slashers from the 2000s.  Plasterhead definitely fits the bill.  It follows the typical path of all these stupid films.  First there is the introduction of the killer where they show him kill some irrelevant hack of an actor.  Then the intro to the characters, where we all see how big of a treat we have on our hands.  These guys do not disappoint.  Their introduction occurs in the form of a car ride.  One by one each character says something to give the audience a peek into how deep they are and one by one the audience realizes that they don't care if that actor is killed immediately.  Luckily, for the viewers, this movie falls into the so bad that it is good category.  Like any film set in rural West Virginia (is there anything other than rural) there are plenty of stereotypes to make you laugh.  My favorite is Artie, who plays a harbinger-like role in the film.  He is your typical gay-hatin, incest-lovin West Virginian.  My favorite line from this Godsend, "Artie ain't no homo."  One final laugh comes at the end of the film when Maggy, the protagonist, accidentally runs over her boyfriend, stops her car, looks back and then speeds off.  This is the same bitch who earlier in the movie doesn't want to take money from a bag that they find in the middle of nowhere.  So leaving your boyfriend to die is alright, but don't you dare steal a couple hundred dollars from a bag somebody left behind.  Sounds about right.  Anyway the kills aren't anything special, but they do not go over the top either.  The killer is a black guy, which is different from the usual script, but that doesn't counteract the three hundred cliches that fill out this movie.  This is just another run-of-the-mill awful horror movie.

Worst Actor: Gerald Adimando- This guys accent was one of the most hilarious aspects of any awful horror movie I have ever seen.  It was a combo of a shitty Brooklyn accent and a worse Cajun accent.  He played a sheriff born and raised in West Virginia.  

Fun Fact: Ernest Dancy played a zombie in Zombieland. (His career just shot through the roof after Plasterhead)

Hidden Gem: In the bar scene, someone yells, "Shut the fuck up, Donnie" paying homage to the famous line from The Big Lebowski.

Total Kill Count: 6*
Janine Alexander- Drai Williamson (7:30) Offscreen Gore Rating: --
Audra- Raine Brown (47:26) Barbed Wire Gore Rating: 6
Jerry- Kevin Cannon (59:57) Face Burned on Grill Gore Rating: 5
Peggy- Steph Van Vlack (1:00:23) Face Crushed Gore Rating: 7
David- Earnest Dancy (1:20:07) Shot in the Chest Gore Rating: 4
Sheriff Earl Taggart- Gerald Adimando (1:20:52) Hit with Hammer/Guts Ripped Out? Gore Rating: 6
(*I don't care about the fact that he was really alive, David died.  All his actions were those of a bad actor dying.)

            Horror Film: 4
            Entertainment: 5
            Gore: 5.5
            Overall: 4.5

Movie Link: