Thursday, September 18, 2014

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Director: Chuck Russell

Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Craig Wasson

Run Time: 1:36

Rant: It's time to get back to basics. We want Freddy Krueger killing motherfuckers in their dreams. Not any of this bullshit where some fuck thinks he's going crazy but in reality he's gay or whatever convoluted bullshit was going on in Part 2. This movie, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, is one of the most underrated horror movies I've seen. It isn't considered a classic because it's a sequel, but I'll tell ya, if you enjoyed the first Nightmare, you'll love this movie. Not as great as the original, but a fantastic movie nonetheless.

So this girl Kristen, played by Patricia Arquette, has been having nightmares and Freddy sort of sets it up like she tries to commit suicide. Her mother puts her in a hospital and we're introduced to a bunch of really wonderfully unique characters. But there aren't just fresh faces at this hospital, oh no. It's the return of Nancy Thompson. She's heard about these kids having nightmares and obviously she's had a few of her own, so she decides to take the job as an intern.

So why the fuck is this movie called "Dream Warriors?" Well, as I said before, all the kids in the hospital are unique characters with unique powers in their dreams. Kristen has the ability to pull people into her nightmares, Kincaid has super strength, Will is a wizard and Taryn is just a nasty bitch. More importantly, all that bullshit I just mentioned is great for giving everyone who dies in this movie a unique death.

This movie introduces a few things that have become a big part of the franchise. This is the first Nightmare where Freddy is funny as fuck. The other two he's just interested in scaring the living shit out of you. Now he looks like he's having some fun. I guess he's been doing it a few years and he's getting bored. That doesn't mean this movie is a comedy, like some future installments we'll get to, but there are one-liners galore.

It also tells you the heartwarming tale of Amanda Krueger, Freddy's mother. Years ago she worked at the hospital and was accidentally locked into the criminally insane ward and raped 100s of times. When they found her she was half dead and pregnant with little Freddy. Fuck. Could they have made it any more sickening? Maybe they could have told us that the lunatics shit in her mouth and dumped battery acid in her asshole.

There's so much fun shit in this movie. John Saxon returns as Nancy's father and digs up Freddy's bones to put him to rest for the final time. There's a whole sequence where they have to fight Freddy's skeleton. All the effects are great and the kills are some of my favorites. This is an outstanding sequel, and an outstanding awful horror movie.

Terrible lines: "Welcome to Prime Time, bitch!"

"I am the Wizard Master."

Kill Count:
Philip (32:24) Turned into a puppet and thrown out the hospital window.
Jennifer (40:00) Head shoved into television.
Taryn (1:14:32) Injected with syringes and overdosed.
Will (1:16:40) Stabbed in the chest.
Donald Thompson (1:25:52) Stabbed in the stomach and impaled.
Nancy (1:29:00) Stabbed in the stomach.

Horror film: 8
Entertainment: 8.5
Gore: 8
Overall Rating: 8.1