Friday, September 26, 2014

Darkness Falls (2003)

Starring: Chaney Kley, Emma Caulfield, and Antony Burrows

Homicidal Maniac: The Tooth Fairy

Run Time: 1:25:37

Quick Synopsis:  In the 1800s a woman is hanged after being wrongfully accused of murdering two children.  Before her death she put a curse on the town of Darkness Falls and has haunted it ever since.

As soon as you hear the voice of the man telling the origin story at the beginning of the film you know that it is going to be awful.  It wasn't that the story was all that bad, the guys voice just wouldn't be part of a good movie.  To put it bluntly, this movie is pure unimaginative garbage that tries to rely on way too many cheap scares to develop terror.  
What these dummies didn't understand is if you have too many false scares, people are going to stop caring and you will destroy any type of suspense that may have been created.  The Tooth Fairy is one of the weakest horror villains that I can remember.  The concept of the bitch is alright (comes while you are, if you see her she kills you) but she loses all credibility in the first scene of the movie.  If the killer fucks up the first time you see it, how can you truly fear it.  To take it a step further, we are never presented with a scenario where she successful takes a child life.  There is one mention about unsolved murders in the town but it is never stated as something that truly existed.  There is no mention of cover-up or any reason to believe in incompetence from the police so we are left with one conclusion.  The Tooth Fairy is an awful villain.  This is with even mentioning that the weakness to any light tames her down even more.  I could go on for hours listing the flaws of it but they are so blatant I do not see the point. The acting is terrible, not in a campy way, just in a no one cares about a word you are saying way.  There is truly only a few decent scenes in the movie.  The opening is solid and the scene within the police station is by far the best of the film.  The ending does not have a single drop of suspense.  This is an awful horror movie.

Fun Fact: There is another version of the film where the Tooth Fairy is not seen until the end of the movie, unlike the current film, which shows the bitch doing the same exact thing every time.

Hidden Gem: A large majority of the cast is Australian.  This begs the question why not just set the fucker in Australia instead of forcing the entire cast to use a fake accent.  I get the leads are America, but they are shit leads so they could have been replace with any joe schmoes down under.

Total Kill Count:
Margaret Walsh- Rebecca McCauley (11:19) Attacked By Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 2
Ray- Angus Sampson (29:24) Taken away by Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 1
Larry- Grant Piro (45:08) Taken away by Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 1
Officer Batten- Andrew Bayly (53:17) Gripped up by the Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 1
Police Officer- Roy Edmonds (53:59) Taken away by Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 1
Police Officer- Mark Wickham (54:12) Cut? by the Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 1
Police Officer- Marnie Statkus (54:32) Thrown by the Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 1
Sheriff Henry- John Stanton (54:56) Taken away by Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 1
Nurse Lauren- Kestie Morassi (1:00:25) Take A Guess Gore Rating: 1
Nurse Alexander- Jenny Lovell (1:01:18) Taken away by the Tooth Fairy Gore Rating: 1
Dr. Travis- Peter Curtin (1:03:21) Yawn Gore Rating: 1
Matt- Sullivan Stapleton (1:08:01) Again Gore Rating: 1

            Horror Film: 4
            Entertainment: 3
            Suspense: 4
            Overall: 3.75