Monday, September 22, 2014

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)




Director: Rachel Talalay

Starring: Robert Englund, Lisa Zane, Shon Greenblat

Run Time: 1:29

Rant: Let's get this out of the way quick. This is the first Freddy movie I ever saw. For that reason alone I have a soft spot for it. Don't get me wrong, it's an awful movie. I acknowledge that, but I get a nostalgia from it like none other.

This movie is a comedy. Yeah, there's some horror and gore in there but chances are you'll laugh much more than you'll hide under the covers. How does Freddy come back from the last movie? Who the fuck cares. I think we've already established he's eternal.

So our cast of victims this time is a bunch of kids in a youth shelter with all kinds of problems. I kinda liked it when Freddy would pick on the suburban fucks with perfect lives but what can ya do? We have Tracy, who was abused by her father. Carlos, who was abused by his mother. Spencer, who I guess is apathetic? And we have a John Doe who has amnesia and a history with Freddy.


Oh, goodie! More stuff to convolute Freddy's mythos! We learn that there's these dream demons that gave him his powers and shit. It really didn't need to be explained after 5 fucking movies but who really gives a fuck? We also learn that Freddy had a wife and daughter, and SPOILER, our main protagonist Maggie, who's a case worker at the shelter, is that daughter. We also have to acknowledge that this movie takes place 10 years after The Dream Child, but in reality hit theaters 2 years after. Freddy's Revenge took place 5 years after the first Nightmare when that came out a year later. So this movie takes place in 2004? To add even more shit to the bullshit, Freddy now has the ability to erase people from history. What the fuck?

We've pretty much established you're guaranteed great kills in a Freddy movie. This one's no exception. Carlos is deaf and Freddy takes his hearing aid away. As demented as the scene is, it's actually really well done. There's also a video game themed kill that's really corny but a lot of fun.

The actually killing of Freddy is terrible. It's so over the top I can barely forgive it. She throws knives and throwing stars at him and finally sticks a piece of dynamite in his stomach. Where the fuck did they get dynamite? One of the best parts of the movie is during the end credits they play a montage of Freddy's best moments, with a song called "Freddy's Dead" by Iggy fucking Pop. How amazing is that?

With all the corniness and silliness to be had in this film, it's a very entertaining awful horror movie. But what would come next for the franchise? Freddy may be dead but we have 3 more movies to review. How the fuck is that possible?

Fun Fact: The guy who wrote the screenplay, Michael De Luca, has produced a shit-ton of really good movies and also wrote a really good one called "In the Mouth of Madness," directed by John Carpenter.

Terrible Lines: "Great graphics."

"Hey, you forgot the Power Glove!"

Kill Count:
Carlos (38:27) Hears noises so loud they cause his head to explode.
Spencer (48:07) I'm pretty sure he's eaten by the television.
John Doe (52:46) Falls on a bed of spikes.

Ratings:
Horror Film: 6
Entertainment: 8.5
Gore: 6.5
Overall Rating: 6.7


Check Out Reviews for the Rest of the Series Here

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