Saturday, September 13, 2014

Ooga Booga (2013)

Director: Charles Band

Starring: Karen Black, Stacy Keach, Ciarra Carter

Run Time: 1:21

Rant: It's no secret Full Moon loves their dolls. From the wonderful Puppet Master and Demonic Toys to the not so wonderful Blood Dolls and Doll Graveyard. They're fucking obsessed. Strap in, you cunts. This movie is fucking crazy.

I don't know why anything happens. It's ridiculous. There's like a guy who dresses up like a pig for a children's show. He creates these toys... these horrible toys. They're all stereotypes. A cracker, a fag, a gook, a crack whore (those are the actual names) and of course Ooga Booga: an African with bug eyes, a spear, a bone in it's nose, and a cigarette. Yep. So the pig guy gives his black friend the Ooga Booga doll. Why not?

So the black dude goes to a convenient store and a robbery takes place. The robbers kill the clerk and the dude calls the police. The police happen to be extremely racist. They assume the black guy killed the clerk and throw out such gems as "I'll blow your head back to Africa" and "I know you people can run but you can't out-run a bullet." Oh yeah, the officer's name is Officer White. Yep.

Officer White ends up killing the black dude. What takes place after that... I'm pretty sure the slushy machine electrocutes his blood and puts his soul in the Ooga Booga doll. I guess Charles Band really doesn't give a shit. The acting may be more offensive than the subject matter.

This fucking movie... I'm so confused. Daniel Carver isn't as openly racist as some of these characters. I don't know who this shit was made for. White people aren't allowed to watch this shit and "gangsta" black dudes won't watch this corny ass out of touch garbage. It has no audience. What did they expect people to think after watching it? Jesus Christ! White people really are actual devils from hell. They have absolutely no morals at all. There isn't a single good white person on the planet earth. Every white person is corrupt. They kill people, they rape people. There's actually a rape scene in this goddamn movie. What the hell? It comes out of nowhere too. Aside from it's racism, it's a borderline comedy, but there's a fucking RAPE SCENE!!! WHY?! This is ridiculous! She gets raped... comes home to take a shower and Ooga Booga watches her and masturbates. WHAT THE FUCK?!

In the end, this movie is a clusterfuck. Is it a comedy? Are they trying to be serious? Am I just laughing because I'm a racist? I'm pretty sure they made the opposite movie they were trying to make. I just don't have anything else to say. Draw your own stupid conclusions from this piece of shit. This is a pointless awful horror movie.

Fun Fact: Ooga Booga was also one of the dolls in Doll Graveyard.

Terrible Lines: "You honkeys would be sitting in a jail cell next to every coon and spic we sent there."

Horror film: 2
Entertainment: 6
Gore: 3
Overall: 3.2