Saturday, September 20, 2014

Satan's Little Helper (2004)

Starring: Alexander Brickel, Katheryn Winnick, and Amanda Plummer

Homicidal Maniac: Joshua Annex as Satan Man

Run Time: 1:36:08

Quick Synopsis: A serial killer uses a kid to help him kill on Halloween.

Nothing like a kid who is a big fan of Satan.  You just not he is going to grow up to be a doctor or firefighter or a sociopathic murderer.  This kids got some real issues that his mother, played by Amanda Plummer doesn't seem to be too worried. (Come on, Honey Bunny)  Two minutes in he talks about how he's going to marry his sister.  Ten minutes in he walks away from his house to go look for Satan.  Fifteen minutes in when he thinks he found Satan, he asks him to kill his sister's boyfriend.  The competition, you know.
 Anyway the movie starts off pretty well in terms of entertainment value.  The intentional over-the-top comedy is pretty good.  And the unintentionally awful acting scenes are just as entertaining.  Watching a little kid cheer on a serial killer is something I never thought I would get the chance to see, but I am so happy that it did happen.  I was heart-broken when he did cheer on his father's death.  As the movie starts to become more serious, there comes a point where laughing at the pathetic acting can become old for most of the audience.  But personally I kinda live for that shit. The ending is some of the worst acting, plot and dialogue I have ever witnessed.  All of this just makes this a perfectly awful horror movie.

Fun Fact:  You can easily fool people into thinking you are someone else by simply not talking and if you ever get caught just switch your costume with someone and they will be killed.  Works every single time.

Hidden Gem:  When Vernon is thrown through a glass window in a door you can easily see that the glass explodes well before he falls into it.

Total Kill Count:
Man- uncredited (10:04) Throat Slit/Offscreen Gore Rating: 6
Old Man- uncreditited (14:03) Stabbed/Offscreen Gore Rating: 4
Packing Boy- Declan Mulvey (41:40) Stabbed in chest Gore Rating: 4
Old Woman (44:54) Hanged Gore Rating: 1
Nicole- Melisa McGregor (47;40) Head bashed off wall Gore Rating: 5
Dean Whooly- Wass Stevens (59:22) Guts spilled out Gore Rating: 6
Cop 1- uncredited (1:00:44) Suffocated offscreen Gore Rating:1
Cop 2- uncredited (1:00:44) Suffocated offscreen Gore Rating:1
Cop 3- uncredited (1:02:46) Suffocated with plastic wrap offscreen Gore Rating:1
Cop 4- uncredited (1:02:46) Suffocated with plastic wrap offscreen Gore Rating:1
Vernon- Dan Ziskie (1:18:57) Multiple gunshots Gore Rating: 4
Alex- Stephen Graham (1:30:43)  Stabbed with Butcher Knife/Poker Gore Rating: 7

            Horror Film: 4
            Entertainment: 7
            Gore: 5
            Overall: 5