Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

Director: Wes Craven

Starring: Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, Miko Hughes

Run Time: 1:52

Rant: I think the official title for this movie is just New Nightmare, but what the fuck kind of title is that? I've always called it Wes Craven's New Nightmare. It just has a better ring to it. Of course you wouldn't call Halloween, John Carpenter's Halloween, but Halloween is a good title by itself. Just calling something "New Nightmare" is shit.

When I was a youngster, like all the slashers I fell in love with, I rented this movie from the video store. I didn't know anything about it. I just popped the fucker in, assuming it was just another Freddy movie. Boy, was I wrong. I actually remember my exact reaction: "What the fuck is this shit?" It took me like 20 minutes to start understanding what was going on. Are they making a movie about Freddy? Why would Nancy make a movie about Freddy? They're not calling her Nancy... they're calling her Heather. Who the fuck is Heather... oh... it's real life? That's what Wes Craven looks like? What the fuck? To be honest, when I was younger I didn't really like it. I didn't dislike it, but it made my head hurt. I don't think I was mentally prepared for a concept like this. Watching it again... this movie is really fucking good. Much better than I remember.

So Heather Langenkamp plays... Heather Langenkamp, and her nerves are fucking shot. She has a son who's having these crazy episodes and a creepy ass stalker that calls her house. At the same time there's a goddamn earthquake every 10 fucking minutes. This bitch can't get a break. She's also been having these horrible nightmares about people she knows dying. Before you know it her husband is fucking dead. What are the chances?

Turns out, Freddy Krueger is fucking real. Making movies about him keeps him away from reality and in some kind of fantasy land. In the movies Freddy is dead... remember Freddy's Dead? So he's running around in real life getting into shenanigans. Now, he's much more sinister. He doesn't crack any fucking jokes, he just wants to torment and kill.

In the previous 6 Freddy movies his costume and makeup is pretty much the same. Since this one is in an alternate universe they can play with his design and it doesn't come off as lame. His makeup is a bit more demon-like and kind of reminds me of The Creeper in Jeepers Creepers but I still think he's much more scary in the original. He still has a fedora and the sweater but now he's rocking a very stylish black trench coat and some big ass black boots. The glove is the main difference. It isn't really even a glove, it's like it's a part of him. His bones and muscles are showing through his hand and the razors look like they're coming out of his fingers. On the cover of the DVD,they show the mechanical glove used in a movie inside the movie. I don't know why. Maybe they thought they'd get kids attention by making them think Freddy is going mecha. Goddamn the 90s.

There are sooooooo many callbacks to the original film. From little stuff such as Heather telling a nurse "Screw your hall pass," to big stuff like her friend Julie being cut open and dragged up the wall. Heather even ends up calling up John Saxon to help her.

I enjoyed watching this very much. Wes Craven took his creation and went back to basics. You aren't rooting for Freddy in this movie. New Nightmare is a strange but very original awful horror movie. You can't really count it as part of the series though. Obviously you'd had to have seen some of the other Nightmare movies to understand it,but it's not in the same universe as the others. Little did we know, there was a separate series of movies being released that were in the same universe as Freddy Krueger. A little series that followed around some silly goose that wore a hockey mask and used a machete to butcher his victims.

Kill Count:
Chase (30:57) Stabbed in the stomach while driving.
Julie (1:21:38) Stabbed in the back and dragged across the ceiling.

Terrible Lines: "Ever play skin the cat?"

Fun Fact: Earthquakes play a big part in this film. In the original Nightmare, Tina says "Maybe we're gonna have a big earthquake. They say things get really weird just before."

Freddy Krueger is credited as being played by "Himself."

Horror Film: 7.5
Entertainment: 8
Gore: 7
Overall Rating: 7.5

Check Out Reviews for the Rest of the Series Here