Sunday, October 5, 2014

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Director: Tommy Lee Wallace

Starring: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Don O'Herlilihy

Run Time: 1:38

Rant: This fucking movie ruined my childhood. If you watched this piece of shit after seeing any of the other Halloween movies you thought one thing: WHERE THE FUCK IS MICHAEL MYERS?! What kind of shit is that to do to a person? Why not just call it Season of the Witch? It has nothing to do with the previous films! Why?! I'm going to try and block out the rotten experience I had with this fucker. I'm gonna watch this as a stand alone awful horror movie. It can't be as bad as I remember it. Nothing can.

So this fucking guy goes crazy and they take him to the hospital. Then this other fucking guy kills him and kills himself. At this point you don't know what the fuck is going on. You only know that this company that makes Halloween masks is somehow involved. The company is called Silver Shamrock. They play this jingle non-stop throughout the movie that will be pumped into your head over and over until you think you're going crazy. Every few minutes you think you'll get a break and they play it again. Three more days 'till Halloween! Please... stop.

I was surprised to find this is one of the gorier Halloween movies. A few of the kills are brutal. One guy actually pulls another guy's head off with his bare hands. Turns out the bad guys aren't really people. They're robots. Fucking robots.

This shit gets fucking insane. It's pretty much set in reality until about an hour in when they introduce some supernatural shit. Every Silver Shamrock mask has a chip in it that reacts to the Silver Shamrock commercials. Once it goes off it turns these kids head's into roaches and snakes and shit. It's fucking disgusting.

I'm astonished. There's some boring parts but some really good parts as well. Some of the effects are shitty and Michael Myers is nowhere to be found but besides that this is a surprisingly above average awful horror movie.

Terrible Lines: "Two more days 'til Halloween!" GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

Fun Facts: We all know John Carpenter did the music for the classic 1978 Halloween but for parts II and III he teamed up with Alan Howarth. Howarth went on to do Halloween 4, 5 and Curse of Michael Myers by himself.

Horror Film: 6
Entertainment: 6.5
Gore: 6
Overall Rating: 6.1