Thursday, October 23, 2014

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Director: Jim Gillespie

Starring: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe

Run Time: 1:40

Rant: Along with Scream, this was the hippest slasher movie when I was growing up. I always thought it kinda sucked assholes but it made a shit ton of money and had a few sequels.

The story is pretty moronic. Four high schoolers get all drunk and drive into a guy walking in the middle of the street. Instead of calling the police they decide they'll dump the body and drive off. Right as they're gonna throw the body in the ocean they realize the guy is still alive so they just hit him a few times and throw him in the water anyway. Fucking stupid.

Ryan Phillippe's character Barry is supposed to be a college quarterback but he's as tall as John Moser and scrawny as fuck. It seriously looks like Sarah Michelle Gellar could take him in a fight. That kinda made me laugh. Other than that the movie doesn't really have any slasher humor. It's sort of a mystery story. A fucking boring mystery story. They could have cut 10 to 20 minutes out of it.

The kills are nothing special and this movie isn't very gory or suspenseful. I don't give a fuck about these four cunts. They murdered a dude in cold blood. In any other movie the killer would be the hero of the film. I know this is an awful horror movie.

Terrible Lines: "Even if his body does wash to shore within the next few weeks... his body will be eaten by crabs and small fish..." What?

Horror Film: 5
Entertainment: 4.5
Gore: 5.5
Overall Rating: 5.0