Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Curse of the Puppet Master (1996)

Director: David DeCoteau (as Victoria Sloan)

Starring: George Peck, Emily Harrison, Josh Green

Run Time: 1:30

Rant: Remember how wonderful Puppet Master III was? It's definitely one of the best in the series. Let's take the same director, David Decoteau, and try to recapture the magic for the 6th installment. What could go wrong? Fucking everything. This is the worst Puppet Master movie to date.

The opening credits are probably the best of the series. It's just the Puppet Master theme with clips of each puppet but it's put together really well. That's about as good as it gets with this shit though. The Puppet Master series is probably the worst when it comes to continuity but this movie basically throws the first five films in the garbage. There's no mention of Andre Toulon and no serum that makes the puppets live. To make them live you literally have to put your soul into it.

There's this guy named Robert who works at a gas station and gets picked on by some of the customers. He's like 6'3 220 being harassed by these shitdicks. It looks like Robert could beat the living fuck out of them. Either way, Dr. Magrew who runs a local puppet show sees this and offers Robert a job. Not only does he offer him a job but he lets him live at his home with his sexy ass daughter. Magrew find out Robert is good at making shit out of wood, so he has him make his own puppet. The puppets are barely in this movie until the end and when they do show them it's mostly clips from previous movies. It's mostly about Robert and the Magrew family. Fucking shit. Robert eventually gets turned into a puppet called Tank who is by far the worst looking puppet of all time.

This movie's fucking awful but there are a few parts that are alright. As Robert is living with Dr. Magrew he has these dreams of turning into a puppet. They're really creepy and the only thing remotely interesting in the first fifty minutes of the movie. It also has one of the best kills of the series. While some asshole is lifting on a weight bench, Blade cuts his face and Tunneler drills a hole right into his cock and balls.

I'll give Decoteau credit. Every Puppet Master film he's directed has been a departure from the standard Bodega Bay Inn movies. Do I dislike this movie because it's different? Of course not. Puppet Master III was different and it was fantastic. Curse of the Puppet Master is just a below average awful horror movie.

Puppet Checklist:
Leech Woman
Six Shooter

Puppet Master:
Dr. Magrew

Kill Count:
Joey (51:32) Drilled in the groin by Tunneler.
Deputy Wayburn (1:06:19) Drilled in the forehead by Tunneler.
Sheriff Garvey (1:06:54) Slashed in the face by Blade and Jester.
Dr. Magrew (1:14:41) Electrocuted by Tank.

Horror Film: 4
Entertainment: 6.5
Gore: 5
Overall Rating: 4.8