Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge

Director: David DeCoteau

Starring: Guy Rolfe, Richard Lynch, Ian Abercrombie

Run Time: 1:26

Rant: If you thought that Puppet Master II was a re-hash of the first Puppet Master, hold on to your assholes because this movie just changed the fucking game. Say goodbye to the Bodega Bay Inn and say goodbye to the 1990s because we're in fucking Nazi Germany.

The year is 1941 and a scientist is given orders by the Nazis to create zombies to be used as human shields during the war. They soon stumble upon Andre Toulon's puppet shows where his puppets move without strings. Toulon's shows are anti-Nazi and have an Adolf Hitler puppet acting like a little bitch, so they arrest him, kill his wife and take his serum. Toulon must now have his revenge.

This is the first movie where the Puppets are good guys. Sure, Toulon starts to go a little crazy but at the end of the day they're killing fucking Nazis. They also go into some of the origins of the puppets. Toulon's wife Elsa is turned into Leech Woman after she dies, and a Nazi doctor who befriends Toulon is turned into Blade.

Six Shooter makes his debut in this film. He's one of Toulon's coolest creations and a very large improvement over the bland Torch. He's a six armed cowboy with six little guns and he makes this strange laughing noise. Throw on a moustache and a cleft chin and you have yourself a fantastic design. He can even climb up walls like Spider-man. Fucking creepy looking shit.

Guy Rolfe plays Toulon in this movie and he's a very big improvement over Steve Welles' portrayal in Puppet Master II. I don't think Welles was bad but he played an incredibly corny evil mastermind.

So... Andre Toulon is a good guy again? What the fuck? Also, in the original movie it clearly states he killed himself in 1939 and this movie takes place in 1941. Who really gives a fuck, though? This is a movie where Nazis create zombies and puppets walk around with no strings. Continuity can go fuck itself. When it comes to good horror movie sequel it's either a back to basics sequel or a refreshing change sequel. This movie was a very refreshing change for the series and an excellent awful horror movie. Fuck Inglorious Basterds. These puppets were "Killin' Nazis" while Brad Pitt was on Tales from the Crypt.

Terrible Lines: "Have your asshole ready!"

Puppet Checklist:
Leech Woman
Six Shooter

Puppet Master:
Andre Toulon

Kill Count:
Elsa Toulon (18:58) Shot by Major Kraus.
Nazi Soldier (20:05) Choked to death by Pinhead.
Nazi Soldier (20:13) Drilled from the back through the stomach by Tunneler.
Morgue Attendant (30:23) Strangled to death by Pinhead.
Lt. Stein (34:59) Killed by poisonous leeches by Leech Woman.
General Mueller (45:24) Shot to death by Six Shooter.
Nazi Soldier (1:06:13) Killed by poisonous leeches by Leech Woman.
Hertz (1:07:52) Shot in the stomach by Major Kraus.
Nazi Soldeir (1:08:12) Shot to death by Six Shooter.
Dr. Hess (1:08:32) Stabbed in the stomach by a dying Nazi solder.
Major Kraus (1:16:25) Strung up like a puppet and dropped onto a spike.

Horror Film: 7
Entertainment: 9.5
Gore: 6
Overall Rating: 7.3