Saturday, November 15, 2014

Puppet Master: The Legacy (2003)

Director: Charles Band (as Robert Talbot)

Starring: Jacob Witkin, Kate Orsini

Run Time: 1:20

Rant: Fuck Puppet Master: The Legacy. Imagine watching all the Puppet Master movies and enjoying the fuck out of them. Imagine going to the video store and renting this in 2003. Imagine watching it... and it's just clips from the previous movies... no new story... just a fucking recap of what we already saw... FUCK THIS MOVIE!

Peter Hertz was the little boy in Puppet Master III. He's an old man now and he's telling some fucking bitch the story of Andre Toulon. I guess they're trying to make the continuity of the movies fit but it ends up just fucking everything up even worse. We go from clips of Retro to Puppet Master II to III and back to II to here and there to who gives a fuck? No one cares about continuity. Unless they just made this movie to have another Puppet Master on the shelf so people wouldn't forget the series existed. I don't know and I really don't care. Fuck it.

I said Curse of the Puppet Master is the worst Puppet Master movie, which it is, only because you can't even count this pile of shit as a movie. It's just a fucking highlight reel with 15 minutes of horrible new material. Sure, if you've never seen a Puppet Master before you'll be entertained but fuck, what a disappointment to the fans. The Legacy is a despicable awful horror movie.

Puppet Checklist:
Six Shooter

Puppet Master:
Andre Toulon, Neil Gallagher, Rick Myers, Dr. Magrew

Kill Count:
Maclain (1:10:33) Shot by Peter Hertz.

Horror Film: 2
Entertainment: 5.25
Gore: 6.5
Overall: 3.9