Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Final Destination 5 (2011)

Starring: Nicholas D'Agosto, Emma Bell, and Peter Friedkin

Homicidal Maniac: Death

Run time: 1:32:00

Quick Synopsis:  After a man's premonitions save them from a suspension-bridge collapse, the survivors realize that death has come to finish the job.

After the last couple Final Destination films, the fifth installment was a pleasant change of pace.  Final Destination 5 was made with actual effort.  It was not simply a mish-mash of entertaining kills with little character development like the last few.  The acting was not great, but the characters had a decent level of likability, which is a major upgrade from the standard that was set.  Most of the victims actually have more scenes than just their death and the original premonition.  The kill scenes are done well, creating suspense even though the audience knows that the person is going to be dying.  They may be some of my

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

F (2010) aka The Expelled

Starring: David Schofield, Eliza Bennett, and Ruth Gemmell

Homicidal Maniac: Antoine Dutilh, James Sutton, and Austin Phillips as the Hoods

Run time: 1:18:00

Quick Synopsis:  A school is terrorized by a group of murderous kids.

Who the hell thought this was a good idea for an ending?  Really this review should end right there.  If the filmmaker doesn't give a shit about finishing his story, a story he supposedly took two years to write, then why should anyone take the time to review it.  I am going to keep this short and do the review in bullet format as in open protest to the films laziness.  
  • The films opening is pretty ridiculous

Monday, December 29, 2014

Mockingbird (2014)

Starring: Audrey Marie Anderson, Todd Stashwick, Barak Hardley, and Alexandra Lydon

Homicidal Maniac: Jacob and his friends 

Run time: 1:21:00

Quick Synopsis:  Multiple people find cameras at their doorstep and are given the instructions to continue filming or face the consequences.  

At first, most will wonder why this film has such awful ratings.  Sure it is nowhere near perfect and there are many scenes that will make you roll your eyes, but these scenes could easily be overlooked with a decent ending.  Especially, when you consider some of the better scenes early on where there is a solid feeling of suspense built up.  

Friday, December 26, 2014

Home Sweet Home (2013)

Starring: Meghan Heffern, Adam MacDonald, Lancelot

Homicidal Maniac: Shaun Benson as The Killer

Run time: 1:20:00

Quick Synopsis: A couple is attacked within their home by a killer.

For the most part, Home Sweet Home is your typical home invasion horror movie.  The films initial sequence has some uniqueness and originality, following the killer as he breaks into the home of the McAndrew family.  At first this sequence is really interesting, however, I feel as though it dragged on a little to long.  It didn't bother me too much though as a respect a low budget horror film that tries to do something different.  

Monday, December 22, 2014

The Final Destination (2009)

Starring: Bobby Campo, Shantel VanSanten, and Haley Webb

Homicidal Maniac: Death

Run time: 1:22:00

Quick Synopsis:  Death comes back to clean up another mess; this time made by the visions of a guy at a race track.

There is no way that this movie was not put together in 3 hours one afternoon.  I mean they didn't even take the time to create names with half the characters in the movie.  The movie has characters that appear in multiple scenes credited as Mechanic, Racist, Racist's Girlfriend, and MILF's husband.  The films logic is all over the place.  The main

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Mercy (2014)

Starring: Chandler Riggs, Dylan McDermott, and Frances O'Connor

Homicidal Maniac: Hastur (through possession of Mercy)

Run time: 1:19:00

Quick Synopsis: A mother and her two children go back to her small town home to take care of her mother, a woman with apparent mysterious powers.

If you are going to make a movie centered around a child actor as the star make sure that child can actually act.  Unfortunately for Mercy, Chandler Riggs may be the worst child actor to ever be a central character in a film.  I understand he may have his fans, but he is truly horrendous.  His line delivery, stupid facial expressions and lack of emotion make

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Don't Blink (2014)

Starring: Joanne Kelly, Brian Austin Green, and Zack Ward

Homicidal Maniac:  Existence

Run time: 1:32:00

Quick Synopsis:  Ten people on vacation at a secluded mountain resort arrive to find the place abandoned.  

Properly reviewing this is going to tough for me because personally it is really interesting, however, I know that it won't be for most of the audience.  I think the most important thing to discuss upfront in this review is that if you do not like movies that do not explain a mystery in any way, do not waste your time with Don't Blink.  There is little chance that you will come out of the movie happy.  After acknowledging that the story and mystery is actually entertaining you will become even more frustrated.  Personally, I did not have any issue with the ending.  The movie as a whole is a metaphor for life, however, the point of view is coming from someone that has a semi-existential outlook on the world.  

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Barricade (2012)

Starring: Eric McCormack, Conner Dwelly, and Ryan Grantham

Homicidal Maniac: The Flu (fine Madness too)

Run time: 1:22:00

Quick Synopsis: A year after the death of his wife, a father takes his children to the cabin that the wife always wanted to go to.  

This movie felt like it was written by an intelligent middle school student.  If you have ever seen a story written by such a student you will understand what I am talking about.  There are some decent scenes, reminiscent of famous scenes from other horror movies of course, and the movie tries to have a decent twist.  However, inexperience leads to the story becoming a mangled mess that will confuse most and forces the movie to fall flat.  

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Would You Rather (2012)

Starring: Brittany Snow, Enver Gjokaj, and Lawrence Gilliard Jr.

Homicidal Maniac: Jeffrey Combs as Shepard Lambrick

Run time: 1:33:00

Quick Synopsis: A rich guy hosts a game of "Would You Rather" to a group of individuals with a dire need of money or other forms of help.

Review: Would You Rather is a pretty simple movie but sometimes that is all you need.  This film is similar to many of the films that tried to use the popularity of the Saw series to gain success, except for the fact that this one is actually good.  There really is nothing overly original within the movie but it doesn't have that cliched feel.  Jeffrey Combs really sticks out as the main antagonist in the film.  His nonchalant attitude really adds something different to similar roles of sadistic villains.  The rest of the cast is not really asked to do much, but they definitely do enough with what was required of them.  Like I explained earlier the plot is pretty basic, a group of people are forced to do sadistic tasks until one remains, but it does make for an interesting and relatively fast-paced 90 minutes.  

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Come Back to Me (2014)

Starring: Matt Passmore, Katie Walder, and Laura Gordon

Homicidal Maniac: Nathan Keyes as Dale

Run time: 1:36:08

Quick Synopsis:  A woman, who suffers blackouts after a car accident, finds herself pregnant.  The problem is that her husband is sterile. 

Review: In a couple of my reviews I have mocked the filmmakers while making the kill counts.  Although within the scopes of these films a character may have survived an apparent kill scene, I have refused to take that kill out of the kill count; making the decision that no one could possibly survive what had happened to them.  Well Come Back to Me is a big middle finger to me and the way that I treat some of the awful horror movies.  In an attempt to avoid giving away the whole movie, I will just that the novel the movie is based off of was title The Resurrectionist for a reason.   The fact that this movie is based off a film is pretty evident due to how well-written the story is for a low budget

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Final Destination 3 (2006)

Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ryan Merriman, and Kris Lemche

Homicidal Maniac: Death

Intro Vision: Roller Coaster Accident

Run time: 1:33:00

Quick Synopsis:  Death's plan is all messed up again, this time after a premonition of a roller coaster accidents saves the lives of a group of amusement park visitors.  

You really have to respect the decision-making of the people behind Final Destination 3.  Up until this point in the franchise there appear to be some semblance of an attempt at quality acting and story-telling, but most of the fans of the first two films honestly didn't care.  All they cared about was the initial premonition and seeing the most creative deaths possible.  So what does the third film do?  Final Destination 3 ignores that story-telling and character building bull shit and focuses solely on the kills.  Really there are so many

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Camel Spiders (2011)

Starring: Brian Krause, Thomas C. Howell, and Melissa Brasselle

Monsters: Camel Spiders

Run time: 1:24:00

Quick Synopsis:  Soldiers accidentally bring camel spiders back with them to the southwestern deserts of the United States.

Camel Spiders is exactly what you would expect from a movie titled Camel Spiders.  Which is trash, trash, trash! Garbage!  Fortunately, it is the bad enough to be entertaining, similar to a 20 car pile up that took the lives of everyone involved.  It has that SyFy feel to it, however, it was made by an independent production company, but I'm sure that they would be happy to add it to the channel's already elite programming.  My favorite part of the film is the completely unnecessary subplots that fill out the movie.  Every single

Friday, December 5, 2014

Final Destination 2 (2003)

Starring: A.J. Cook, Ali Larter, and Michael Landes

Homicidal Maniac: Death

Intro Vision: High Car Pile-Up

Run time: 1:30:00

Quick Synopsis: A woman has a premonition of a highway car accident.  The premonition comes true and now the people saved by her warning our now being killed to complete death's plan.

A year after the Flight 180 plane crash, a young woman has a similar premonition of a highway car pile-up that takes the lives of many.  Just like Alex in the original, Kimberly is able to save a handful of lives.  As you all expect, this is only the beginning as once again the survivors begin to be picked off one by one.  While this film doesn't totally mail it in like some of the future sequels, there really isn't much to the movie other than the kill scenes.  Fortunately, they are entertaining enough to overcome the fact there is very little other substance in the story.  Each kill has added creativity and surprise that will definitely

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Babadook (2014)

Starring: Essie Davis, Noah Wiseman and Barbara West

Homicidal Maniac: Tim Purcell as the Babadook

Run time: 1:33:00

Quick Synopsis:  A single mother finds a pop-up book that appears to bring on a sinister presence. 

On its surface, The Babadook may appear to be much like many recent micro-budget horror films such as Sinister and Insideous.  However, as you dig a little deeper there is much more to the film than a simple horror story.  Seven years after the death of her husband, which coincided with birth of her son, Amelia has yet to overcome the pain of her loss.  Unfortunately, her intelligent but high maintenance son is a constant reminder of that pain.  This is where Mister Babadook comes into play.  After finding a creepy

Monday, December 1, 2014

Final Destination (2000)

Starring: Ali Larter, Devon Sawa, and Kerr Smith

Homicidal Maniac: Death

Run time: 1:38:00

Intro Vision: Plane Crash

Quick Synopsis:  A high school student has a vision of his flight to Paris ending in a crash.  After leaving the plane, his vision comes true and now death wants to finish the job and kill the students that were supposed to die on the plane.

If Final Destination teaches anything it's the fact that death can be a real asshole.  Fortunately for the viewers, the reaper is a creative asshole.  While the concept is original and clever, the best part of the film, and the series as a whole, is discovering how these characters are going to die.  That is not to