Tuesday, December 30, 2014

F (2010) aka The Expelled

Starring: David Schofield, Eliza Bennett, and Ruth Gemmell

Homicidal Maniac: Antoine Dutilh, James Sutton, and Austin Phillips as the Hoods

Run time: 1:18:00

Quick Synopsis:  A school is terrorized by a group of murderous kids.

Who the hell thought this was a good idea for an ending?  Really this review should end right there.  If the filmmaker doesn't give a shit about finishing his story, a story he supposedly took two years to write, then why should anyone take the time to review it.  I am going to keep this short and do the review in bullet format as in open protest to the films laziness.  
  • The films opening is pretty ridiculous
  • The change in the characters after the opening is pretty illogical.  
  • None of this matters because it has nothing to do with the story.  
  • The build up to each kill becomes tiresome and the music in these scenes is more annoying than scary.  
  • I get that the outcome is realistic to what could happen in a case such as this but that's not how you make a movie
  • Time was not an issue, the film was very short
  • The effects were not too bad
  • With a decent ending the film would have been no worse than any other low budget horror
  • Parkour is not scary, quit having your killers jump around like idiots
This is a waste of an awful horror movie.

Fun Fact:  Director/Writer Johannes Roberts lectured at the school where the story is set.

Hidden Gem:  The character of Robert Anderson is named after the ghetto of Anderson in the film Assault on Precinct 13 (1976).

Total Kill Count: 11
Bryan- Jamie Kenna (21:00) Caught on Fire Gore Rating: 1
Lucy- Emma Cleasby (45:00) Found Dead Gore Rating: 4
Janitor- Chris Adamson (47:00) Throat Slit Gore Rating: 5
Sarah- Ruth Gemmell (48:00) Struck in Head Gore Rating: 6
Jake- Max Fowler (57:00) Tied Up with Barbed Wire Gore Rating: 5
Gary- Tom Mannion (57:00) Offscreen Gore Rating: --
Nicky- Roxanne McKee (1:02:00) Mutilated Gore Rating: 8
Policewoman- Tina Barnes (1:07:00) Falls Down Stairs/Assumed Death after Attack Gore Rating: 3
Policeman- Alex Ellis (1:00:00) Hit with Wrench Gore Rating: 2
James- Finlay Robertson (1:10:00) Offscreen Gore Rating: --
Hooded Killer (1:11:00) Stabbed Gore Rating: 6

             Horror Film: 2
             Entertainment: 4
             Gore: 5
             Overall: 3.25