Sunday, January 4, 2015

Cool Air (2006)

Director: Albert Pyun

Starring: Morgan Weisser, Crystal Laws Green, Jenny Dare Paulin

Run Time: 1:18

Rant: This movie is an hour and fucking eighteen minutes long. The credits at the beginning take up about six minutes and the credits at the end take up about six minutes so we're looking at a movie that's basically an hour. Filmed in 2006 and shown in Portugal, this movie wasn't released in the U.S. until 2013. The video quality looks like something off of Youtube and there's only about five actors so we're looking at a really low budget production.

This fucking guy Charlie is a screenwriter and he's staying at this motel. Everyone at this place is a fucking creep. There's a weirdo lady Mrs. Baxter, her autistic daughter Estella, an old lunatic guy who killed his wife and a witch doctor that lives upstairs. Charlie has a heart attack and goes to the witch doctor and they bullshit for a little while. Then the autistic daughter comes and feeds him. We find out the witch doctor is doing experiments and shit on the girl but it's Mrs. Baxter who's the real piece of shit.

The acting is solid with the exception of the autistic girl. Good God is she rotten. One of the worst mentally challenged performances I've ever seen. Morgan Weisser does a decent job as Charlie. He narrates the movie as well and it's not as bad as you'd expect.

This movie is slow moving but it's not boring. There's interesting parts but it's just people telling you what already happened. I understand it's low budget but to pull a movie like this off you'd need great actors and these fucks don't fit the bill. Cold Air is an unmemorable awful horror movie.

Fun Fact: Norbert Weisser, who plays Deltoid, is Morgan Weisser's father. He's been in a bunch of Albert Pyun movies including Arcade and Infection, as well as John Carpenter's The Thing and Schindler's List.

Horror Film: 4
Entertainment: 4.5
Suspense: 5
Overall: 4.3