Saturday, February 28, 2015

Triangle (2009)

Starring: Melissa George, Michael Dorman, and Liam Hemsworth

Run time: 1:39:00

Quick Synopsis: The mother of an autistic child finds herself an a seemingly endless cycle on a ship.

Triangle is another time loop film, possibly one of the best constructed and detailed of its kind.  There are a few ways to interpret the film and your personal philosophies will play a large role in determining what will be your specific interpretation.  The three main interpretations that are obviously possible include the presence of some type of purgatory, a different type of supernatural element (Bermuda triangle), or a mental breakdown/disorder.  No matter what you feel the film is, the more important issue revolves around the deeper themes of the film.  One major theme is guilt and how someone is able(or unable) to move on from it.  It is quite evident that the main character does not feel she has been the quality mother that she should have been.  The goes into the second major theme of self perception and stepping outside those perceptions to see who the real person is.  This is presented through the loops, literally seeing yourself, and through mirrors shown throughout.  Whether this is the type of film you enjoy, you have to respect the research that was put into the film.  Two main inspirations were the Greek myths involving Sisyphus and the poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, however, there are many other myths and stories that play minor roles in the film.  Looking at the movie from a more narrow view, the acting is solid and movie has decent pacing and flow.  Triangle is both a thoughtful and thought-provoking awful horror movie.

Fun Fact: The film is set in Miami, Florida, but was filmed entirely in Queensland. Both Florida and Queensland are known as "The Sunshine State"; a nickname used on a road sign in the film.
Hidden Gem: There are several references to The Shining throughout the movie including the number 237 popping up a few times, in addition to the presence of ax, a ballroom and a mirror with blood written on it.  

Total Kill Count:
Heather- Emma Lung (20:00) Assumed Dead from Drowning Gore Rating: 1
Victor- Liam Hemsworth (35:00) Wound in Back of Head Gore Rating: 6
Greg- Michael Dorman (35:00) Shot with Shotgun Gore Rating: 5
Downey- Henry Nixon (36:00) Multiple Shotgun Wounds Gore Rating: 7
Sally- Rachael Carpani (36:00) Multiple Shotgun Wounds Gore Rating: 7
Greg- Michael Dorman (58:00) Shot with Shotgun Gore Rating: 3
Victor- Liam Hemsworth (59:00) Wound in the Back of the Head Gore Rating: 6
Downey- Henry Nixon (1:01:00) Throat Slit Gore Rating: 7
Sally- Rachael Carpani (1:06:00) Stabbed Gore Rating: 6
Greg- Michael Dorman (1:16:00) Shot with Shotgun Gore Rating: 6
Downey- Henry Nixon (1:17:00) Multiple Shotgun Wounds Gore Rating: 2
Sally- Rachael Carpani (1:17:00) Multiple Shotgun Wounds Gore Rating: 2
Jess- Melissa George (1:25:00) Hit in Head with Hammer Gore Rating: 4
Tommy- Joshua McIvor (1:30:00) Car Accident Gore Rating: 1

             Horror Film: 7
             Entertainment: 8
             Gore: 5
             Overall: 6.75

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Monster Brawl (2011)

Director: Jesse Thomas Cook

Dave Foley, Art Hindle, Robert Maillet

Run time: 1:28

 a fucking wrestling ring in the middle of a cemetery. Classic monsters are going to have wrestling matches. Lance Henrisken is the narrator. Herb Dean is the referee. Jimmy Hart is the ring announcer. Kevin Nash makes an appearance. I knew this movie would be shit but I watched it anyway. What is wrong with me?

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

Starring: Addison Timlin, Veronica Cartwright, and Anthony Anderson

Homicidal Maniac: Andy Abele as Sackhead

Run time: 1:26:00

Quick Synopsis:  Sixty-five years after the Moonlight Murders, the murders appear to have started again in the small town of Texarkana.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Nothing Left to Fear (2013)

Starring: Rebekah Brandes, Ethan Peck, and James Tupper

Homicidal Maniac: Jennifer Stone as Mary (Possessed)

Run time: 1:40:00

Quick Synopsis:  A pastor and his family move to a small town with a truly evil secret.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Hostel (2006)

Starring: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, and Eythor Gudjonsson

Homicidal Maniac: Some Meanies from Slovakia

Run time: 1:34:00

Quick Synopsis: Three tourists find themselves in grave danger while staying at a Slovakian hostel.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

The Facility (2012)

Starring: Aneurin Barnard, Alex Reid, and Steve Evets

Run time: 1:20:00

Quick Synopsis: Eight volunteers take part in a drug trial.  Then shit happens.

For almost thirty minutes of The Facility, I was convinced that I had found an awful horror movie gem.  While the audience does not learn to much about each character, they all have enough depth to make them interesting.  Add in the build up of suspense and mystery and the beginning has more than enough to keep the attention of the audience.  Unfortunately, as things begin to shit the fan, writer/director Ian Clark begins to shit the

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Neverlake (2012)

Starring: Daisy Keeping, Martin Kashirokov, and Anna Dalton

Homicidal Maniac: David Brandon as Dr. Brook

Run time: 1:26:00

Quick Synopsis: A woman visiting her father in Italy attempts to find answers to the local legends revolving around the lake in her father's small town.

I think that Neverlake teaches a lesson that may not be discussed too often, however, definitely exists within all storytelling.  Having a great story to tell doesn't mean you will be able to tell that story properly.  If I were to give a summary of the film, most people reading would be intrigued.  Unfortunately, the pacing of the film really becomes a detriment and makes the film lose its luster.  I am used to a slow-burn but this movie just

Friday, February 20, 2015

Choose (2011)

Starring: Katheryn Winnick, Kevin Pollak and Richard Short

Homicidal Maniac: Nicholas Tucci as Scar Lip

Run time: 1:23:00

Quick Synopsis: A journalist student attempts to find out the identity of a killer who forces his victims to make horrific choice.


Thursday, February 19, 2015

Head of the Family (1996)

Director: Charles Band (as Robert Talbot)

Starring: Blake Adams, Jacqueline Lovell, Bob Schott

Run time: 1:22

Rant: Here we have another wacky Full Moon production. This movie is a much better version of Blood Dolls. Of course there are no dolls. I guess that's rare for Full Moon and maybe rare for a John Moser review... Either way this is a comedy/horror and it's a lot of fun to watch.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Friday the 13th (1980)

Starring: Adrienne King, Jeannine Taylor, and Harry Crosby

Homicidal Maniac: Betsy Palmer as Pamela Voorhees

Run time: 1:35:00

Quick Synopsis: Camp counselors are terrorized as they plan on opening a camp with a bloody past.

If you on a site like this, there is little chance that you have not seen Friday the 13th.  It is far from perfect, but is considered a classic and for good reason.  While it admittedly stole a lot of ideas from Halloween (1978), the slasher checklist is truly defined in Friday the 13th.   There is little else within the film's script, but it works and still holds up to today's

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Mine Games (2012)

Starring: Briana Evigan, Ethan Peck, and Rebecca Da Costa

Homicidal Maniac(Kinda): Joseph Cross as Michael

Run time: 1:32:00

Quick Synopsis:  A group of friends find them in a confusing and fearful situation while staying at a cabin located near a mine.

It is truly tough to make a successful time loop movie.  The idea of a time loop itself is confusing to most, so creating a film using the concept is going to become even more confusing.  Saying all this, I really do not think that the movie is too bad.  The acting is more than acceptable from everyone except for Rebecca Da Costa, who plays Rose, an apparent psychic.  She is pure awfulness, but it really doesn't matter too much since her character is nothing more than a plot device.  Many will have issues with the writing and call out the movie's plot holes, however, I don't think there are as many as it would appear.  

Sunday, February 8, 2015

The Collection (2012)

Starring: Josh Stewart, Emma Fitzpatrick, and Christopher McDonald

Homicidal Maniac: Randall Archer as the Collector

Run Time: 1:21:35

Quick Synopsis:  The lone survivor of the traps set by "The Collector" must now save an innocent girl from the dungeon of the maniac.

The Collection is the the sequel to the the 2009 film The Collector.(I see what they did there) With that being said, it is not completely necessary to see the original to get a good grasp on the movie.  This is your typical search and rescue style film with a little hint of the Saw franchise mashed in there.  The lead character Arkin, played by Josh Stewart, has escaped the grasp of the Collector but now finds himself forced to help save the newest victim Elena, played by Emma Fitzpatrick.  This is where the fun begins. (Unless you like the opening mass killing of ravers...I guess I lied this isn't when the fun begins.)  Like usual, one by one the search team gets taken out, leaving the leader for the final death in a head to head showdown before the leads save the day.

Scar (2007)

Starring: Angela Bettis, Kirby Bliss Blanton, and Devon Gray

Homicidal Maniac: Ben Cotton as Bishop and a surprise

Run Time: 1:23:49

Quick Synopsis:  Years after murdering the serial killer who kidnapped her, Joan  Burrows comes back home to find similar murders happening once again.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Tusk (2014)

Starring: Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment, and Genesis Rodriguez

Homicidal Maniac: Michael Parks as Howard Howe

Run time: 1:42:00

Quick Synopsis: After his trip to Canada doesn't go as planned due to the suicide of the subject of his story, a podcaster searches for a new story.  He will not like what he finds.  Most people don't like being turned into a walrus.


*Disclaimer: If you don't care about a lengthy discussion about making the movie versus not making the movie skip the first paragraph of pretty awful discussion.  My thoughts on the movie will begin after.

Going into Tusk, I really expected to really enjoy it.  Unfortunately, the movie just fell flat

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

See No Evil 2 (2014)

Starring: Kaj-Erik Eriksen, Danielle Harris, and Greyston Holt

Homicidal Maniac:  Kane aka Glenn Jacobs as Jacob Goodnight

Run time: 1:30:00

Quick Synopsis:  After his apparent demise following the massacre at an old hotel, killer Jacob Goodnight comes back to life to prey on a group of friends having a surprise birthday party inside a morgue.

Here our much funnier and entertaining review of the original See No Evil, written by John Moser.  The beginning of his review still holds up this time around so I decided why not just post the opening paragraph here:

WWE Films. Yeah. No expectations what so ever. I think this was their first movie. Should have been the last. Let's be honest, wrestlers can't act. No, not even The Rock. On paper Kane makes the most sense. He's basically a masked Michael Myers type of bad guy in wrestling, right? It would make sense for him to be in a slasher. He'd probably be the best fit of all of them. Problem is, he isn't wearing a mask. His face isn't scary at all. He just looks like a big dumb cunt with no eyebrows. If Jason didn't have a hockey mask or a burlap sack over his face and just had the retard face with the Neil Young hair, he probably wouldn't have caught on as well.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Finders Keepers (2014)

Starring: Jaime Pressly, Kylie Rogers, and Patrick Muldoon

Homicidal Maniac: A Guatemalan Worry Doll

Run time: 1:28:00

Quick Synopsis: A newly divorced woman and her child move to a new home with a dark past revolving around a triple murder and an evil doll.  Then stuff happens.