Monday, June 13, 2016

A Serbian Film (2010)

Director: Srdjan Spasojevic

Starring: Srdjan Todorovic, Sergej Trifunovic, Jelena Gavrilovic

Run time: 1:44

Rant: This is one of those movies that you watch and you make sure you pray before you go to bed. You have to tell God "It's only a movie. Please don't send me to hell for this."

I stand by my statement that Human Centipede is a good horror flick if you take out some of the over the top elements. But is the suspense and horror you feel a direct result of how extreme the movie is? It's a good question, I think. A Serbian Film is a well made film. If it was horribly acted and horribly directed it would be a cult classic but it isn't. It's one of those movies that people refuse to watch. And the ones that do watch it either feel sick, or enjoy it. The people who enjoy it are the kind of people who molest the cat and kick the dog and I don't want to be around those people.

Our main character, Milos is a pretty likable guy. He's a retired pornstar who's settled down with a wife and a kid. You get the feeling that he genuinely doesn't want to go back to making porn movies but he has to because he's offered a shitload of money. Apparently Milos is the second coming when it comes to male pornstars. As Quentin would say he's a John Holmes motherfucker. 

30 minutes in. This movie pretty damn interesting and pretty damn sexy. The rest of the movie... well it isn't sexy. It takes it's time. Which I didn't expect. Milos gets blown while looking at videos of an underage girl. Then his brother gets blown while watching family videos. Yep. He's watching video of his nephew's birthday party while a hooker sucks his cock. So we've established that Milos' brother is a creep.

45 minutes in. We're getting somewhere. A little punching of the lady in the face while she's crying and blowing you. I think we've all been there. This is the only movie I've ever seen where a disturbing dream sequence takes place, then something happens in reality that's worse than the dream.

60 minutes in. Shit just goes crazy. We have the infamous Newborn Porn scene. We have a beheading with a machete. Even Milos himself gets raped. It just turns into a goddamn clusterfuck. The bad guy drugs Milos and and we're told the rest of the story through flashbacks from pieces of film he finds and through memories he's slowly putting together. It's just an old fashioned living nightmare building up to reveal that Milos in fact unwillingly raped his own son. Yep. He also watched as his brother raped his wife. 

I don't really know or care how ratings systems work or anything. I watched Child's Play and shit like that when I was little and I really don't think horror movies in general effect a young kid. That being said I wouldn't let an adult watch this movie. Nope. This is a Serbian awful horror movie.

Terrible Line: "It's like a cartoon for grownups."

             Horror Film: 6
             Entertainment: 5
             Gore: 8
             Overall: 6.2