Saturday, March 25, 2017

Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)

Director: Roger Coreman

Starring: Antony Carbone, Betsy Jones-Moreland, Robert Towne

Run time: 1:03

Rant: Roger Coreman is a legend but for every Little Shop of Horrors there is a Creature from the Haunted Sea. That's kind of what makes it fun to go through and watch his stuff. Sometimes you have a great time with these b-movies but other times you want to stab your eyeballs with a cattle prod. The comedy isn't funny and the creature of the feature is one of the worst I've ever seen. Truly horrible.

This movie does have a wacky story that could have been fun. A very cheesy and incompetent secret agent (with the greatest fake moustache I've ever seen) is undercover on a yacht that is transporting all of the fucking gold in Cuba. The captain of the ship, Renzo, is a dirty crook that plans to kill all of the Cubans on board and keep the gold for himself. Along with Renzo we have his very beautiful and very evil girlfriend Mary-Bell, her mentally handicapped brother Jack and their friend Pete who can somehow make animal noises. It's so fucking strange. Renzo starts killing the Cubans and blaming it on a creature. A creature from the haunted sea, you might say. The only thing is... THE CREATURE IS REAL! Real and really fucking rotten. This has to go down as one of the worst monsters in movie history. You barely see it and when you do, you wish you hadn't. It's down there with the adorable bunnies from Night of the Lepus.

It's boring, it's random, there's a scene where the bad guy's girlfriend just breaks into song. I actually fell asleep. Unfortunately I woke up by the time the song was over and finished watching this fucking awful horror movie.

Fun Fact: Actor Robert Towne, who plays the lead of the film, may not have had a successful acting career but he's written some good movies including Chinatown, The Yakuza and Mission Impossible.

             Horror Film: 4
             Entertainment: 5.5
             Gore: 2
             Overall: 3.8